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About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.
Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.
Copyright 2009-2011 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze
Rarely seen photos of Steve Jobs: Jobs in his living room, 1982
Steve surrounds himself with the important things in life (light, Hi-Fi kit)
SUCK ON THAT, you PC MORONS!@
Dear Steve Jobs,
In light of your recent resignation from CEO of Apple, Inc. I wanted to take a moment to thank you.
Our family history runs deep with Apple. I’ll never forget the day my father brought home our first family computer, The Apple Quadra 650. I think the year was 1994, or 95. My brother and I were floored. Our best friend, Andrew, had a Mac, and we wanted to do all the cool things he was doing on his computer: painting, sending mail bombs, playing this sex game called Virtual Valerie, etc. Windows was so boring, and all the kids that owned it used it for one thing: AOL. That’s it.
Apple computers allowed you to install plugins, to alter its scripts, to create programs, to think different. Yes, it ran Excel spreadsheets, but it also allowed the artist in all of us to come out once in a while.
From the very beginning my brother and I could see the difference between Macs and PCs, and this was wayyyyyyy before the “I’m a Mac” campaign. People with Macs had a different approach to life. In fact, we took a lot of shit from kids at school for owning a Mac back in the beginning. My brothers friends HARASSED him on his first day of 9th grade because he wore an Apple T-shirt. (Full disclosure: JD, Zach Schau, Guilz, Drew Eget, Spencer, and Zander all own Mac laptops now).
Then in 2001, on the very last night of Hannukah, our lives were changed forever. My parents bought my brother the first edition iPod. Chunky, fat, and heavy we had no idea the device we held in our hands would change the shape of the music industry forever. We just wanted to have all our goofy songs in one place at one time, as opposed to carrying around a Discman and a Caselogic of 200+ CDs. At this point, I believe the stock was around $40/share. (It’s now trading at $376/share). Within a little time, everyone and their mother had an iPod. *Fun fact: my Dad STILL uses our first generation family iPod on airplanes/for travel.
In 2007, while watching the Academy Awards, the first ever iPhone commercial played for all of the world. “Hello?” with the biggest conference call ever of famous moments with telephones announcing that the iPhone was indeed on its way. My brother camped out for HOURS, complete with a beach chair and a cooler to get his hands on the very first device. I remember going out with him that night. It was like we had unlimited cocaine. Everyone wanted to touch it, play with it, and hang out with us. It’s now 2011 and everyone has an iPhone *except me, I’m waiting for the iPhone 5 to drop in October.
I could talk about how the multi-colored iMac/Steve Jobs also revolutionized the PC game in 1997, and how the iPad revolutionized the tablet market in 2010, but you know all of that.
I really just want to say thank you, Steve. You are a true visionary, and frankly, the only CEO who is so inherently tied to its company that the stock drops $20.00 the instant you tender your resignation. You’re kind of the Walt Disney of the computer industry. On the upside, I know us Apple shareholders and consumers are in great hands with the new CEO, Tim Cook. You’ve trained him well, Stevearoo.
To all you Apple fans out there, stay optimistic about Steve’s health, the future of Apple, and always remember, no matter where you are, what situation you are drawn into, or who you are with: THINK DIFFERENT!!!!
Jonno’s Hagaddah - The Steve Jobs Bio
