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About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess/sport-fucking buddy. His father, a St. Louis cowboy at heart, reined him in as a child, only having to wash out his mouth with soap once during his early years.
Single, forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man finds himself thoroughly concerned with finding a wife, but more importantly, a bitch to lay with in the meantime.
Oh, and he wants me to tell you he he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City back in '01.
Copyright 2009-2010 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze
She’s the perfect girl.
She’s the perfect girl.
In your father’s world.
In your father’s world.
Have a Safe and Happy Holidays from your funky OBGYN.
Those are som3 SERIOUS cansaba melons! Dang, ho!
And they’re real! I’ve touched them.
Not in the “I wanna fuck your face” way, but I touched ‘em.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiit this bitch had it comin’.
Schwarzenegger's Terminator 3 Contract
Squeezes - I only share this with you because it was the first real movie I ever worked on. I was a P.A. in the VFX department. These people mentioned are all real; what’s even crazier is that this contract…not one percent of it is false.
Arnold holds the record for most $$ ever paid to an “actor” in a movie for the $29.5 “pay or play” deal. To those of you not operating in Hollywood…this means taht Arnie got the 30 MILLY even if the MOVIE WAS NOT MADE/PRODUCED/RELEASED.
Jesus Christ.
Also, Dieter Rueter, Arnie’s double…looked so much like Arnie it was fucking scary.
This was my first plunge into Hollywood…and it opened my eyes to things I can’t even describe. Everything was SO secretive. I also got yelled at a bunch.
Finally, being seventeen and working on a movie while my girlfriend waited at home for me was probably one of the happiest memories of working. Industrial Light and Magic’s very talented John Whisnant (this 60 something year old dude) was like a mentor to me. Nobody wanted to be nice to me because I was a “political hire” at the time. Full disclosure: I replaced David Katzenberg because he got terribly sick, if I remember. He PA’d before me. I took his yob. The point is, it was me and this old guy, Jon Whisnant, cruising around Downtown LA in my 3-series, smoking cigarettes, drinking beers, and most importantly, measuring every aspect of a downtown LA city street so that it could be rendered via VFX and Arnold could blowup an ambulance with a wrecking ball and than ride into into the sunset with half his face melted off. I’d spend the day talking to Jon about life, sex, my first impressions of it, and how I could improve so that I stopped fucking the box-spring every few pumps.
God, it was good to be me, seventeen, in love with movies, and in love with *****NAME WE DO NOT MENTION BECAUSE SHE’S A WIFE NOW AND I HAVE RESPECT FOR MARRIAGE.
To Kaiser (Mostow’s driver) and Whisnant…thank you guys for mentoring a young guy just trying to make movies, but more importantly, just trying to get his schtup on.
