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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

Copyright 2009-2011 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze

Billy Corgan -  There was a time, way back when, when you created these most beautiful sounds with your buddies, The Smashing Pumpkins. You appeared out of nowhere, whipping multi-colored paint around in an ice-cream truck, your long, stringy hair dangling in front of your stoned eyes. D’Arcy was there. James Iha was there.  The bro on drums with the backwards hat was there.  ”Today” was the name of the song, and it bolstered you to rock-and-roll stardom. Then you did “Disarm.”  Jesus H. Christ. Not to mention “Hummer”, “Rocket Boy”, and the rest of Siamese Dream.  Don’t even get me started on Gish. Life was good. You were such a big icon that kids started buying black shirts with the words “ZERO” emblazoned on the front with a giant white star from Hot Topics and street-vendors.  Little did they know, Zero was a skateboarding company and you were just wearing one of their T-shirts.  You then had the audacity and ambition to drop Melancholy & The Infinite Sadness — a trippy, dreamy, roller-coaster ride of a double-album.  You basically dropped the rock world on its own head. Meanwhile, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and STP were coming up around/with you.  You do realize that the only reason/way any record company would let bands in the future put out double-albums is because the suits arrogantly thought/think they could match the sales of Melancholy, right?  Stadium Arcadium and The Foo Fighters crap half-rock-half acoustic album would not exist without you.  You basically made the Kill BIll of rock records. Mazel Tov. We all know where it goes from here.  There was Ava Adore, and Machina, the break-up, the ODs, the deaths, the weird shit with Mariyln Manson and Courtney Love, Zwan, the re-incarnation of the band, and now, well…I’m at a loss for words. Point is: “1979” may just be the most prolific rock/grunge/alt. song of the 90’s. You might only be beaten out by “Dont Speak” by No Doubt.  You have it in you, dude. My suggestion: grow your hair out, get some OG Kush, call up the band, ditch the 13 year old kid you hired to play guitar, and… You know what, fuck it.  You did this once already.  Where’s my Creedence record?

Billy Corgan - 

There was a time, way back when, when you created these most beautiful sounds with your buddies, The Smashing Pumpkins. You appeared out of nowhere, whipping multi-colored paint around in an ice-cream truck, your long, stringy hair dangling in front of your stoned eyes. D’Arcy was there. James Iha was there.  The bro on drums with the backwards hat was there.  ”Today” was the name of the song, and it bolstered you to rock-and-roll stardom. Then you did “Disarm.”  Jesus H. Christ. Not to mention “Hummer”, “Rocket Boy”, and the rest of Siamese Dream.  Don’t even get me started on Gish.

Life was good. You were such a big icon that kids started buying black shirts with the words “ZERO” emblazoned on the front with a giant white star from Hot Topics and street-vendors.  Little did they know, Zero was a skateboarding company and you were just wearing one of their T-shirts. 

You then had the audacity and ambition to drop Melancholy & The Infinite Sadness — a trippy, dreamy, roller-coaster ride of a double-album.  You basically dropped the rock world on its own head. Meanwhile, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and STP were coming up around/with you.  You do realize that the only reason/way any record company would let bands in the future put out double-albums is because the suits arrogantly thought/think they could match the sales of Melancholy, right?  Stadium Arcadium and The Foo Fighters crap half-rock-half acoustic album would not exist without you.  You basically made the Kill BIll of rock records. Mazel Tov.

We all know where it goes from here.  There was Ava Adore, and Machina, the break-up, the ODs, the deaths, the weird shit with Mariyln Manson and Courtney Love, Zwan, the re-incarnation of the band, and now, well…I’m at a loss for words.

Point is: “1979” may just be the most prolific rock/grunge/alt. song of the 90’s. You might only be beaten out by “Dont Speak” by No Doubt.  You have it in you, dude. My suggestion: grow your hair out, get some OG Kush, call up the band, ditch the 13 year old kid you hired to play guitar, and…

You know what, fuck it.  You did this once already. 

Where’s my Creedence record?


September 14
music pumpkins
This is how we do Halloween in L.A. In-N-Out.  GANGSTA!

This is how we do Halloween in L.A.

In-N-Out.  GANGSTA!


October 29
in n out halloween pumpkins hamburgers