The 2010 Grammy’s: A recap of my favorite Twitters/thoughts/pictures…
Ladies, gentleman, fans of music and people not so fond of Lady GaGa, I have one question to ask of you: WHAT. THE FUCK. WAS THAT? I know that the record industry prides themselves on being cool and up to the minute, but holy fucking cow. The last time Elton John did something this bizarre was when he shared the same stage with a 5th of Vodka toting whiteboy who had a penchant for screaming the word FAGGOT over Dre beats…but now…he’s uhh… feigning 3rd degree burns on a double-sided Steinway? WHAT. THE FUCK. WAS THAT?
Pink - Cirque Du Soleil is for midgets, contortionists, and Asians. Since when is your wet t-shirt contest trapeze act considered high-art? You’re the girl famous for singing “I’m coming out so let’s get this party started.” I’ve never been to a party with anyone dressed like you swinging on a trapeze like you. Bitch this is the Grammy Awards…not Club Med. WHAT THE FUCK. WAS THAT?
Taylor Swift - BITCH YOUR FACE IS NOT SYMMETRICAL. At all. I’m not one to talk about having eyes like an Asian, but you resemble a Frog if it fucked Yao Ming. You can’t really sing in key either. Furthermore, “Oh ma gah…my parents are like freakin’ out right about naow…I’m so down-home country I don’t even know what to say…in my $12,000 evening gown. Oh Mah Gah.” Your relaysh with T. Lautner was completely for show. He’s a cocksucker, I guarantee it. Watch the scene in NEW MOON when he greets Kristen Stewart for the first time, “HEYY LOCA” or watch the trailer for VALENTINE’S DAY when he tries to kiss T. Swift. If that isn’t proof enough, I’m not a Jew.
Wyclef Jean - Yeah, we get it. Your Haitian. Too bad you missed the quake. You haven’t done anything worthwhile since THE CARNIVAL. Stop exploiting an international tragedy to promote yourself.
Beyonce - Bitch, you are the most hood rich woman on the planet. Door knocker earrings? Check. Big, black boobies. Check Check. “Mah Husbaaand…My Jigga Maayyyne.” Furthermore, WHERE THE FUCK DID THIS KID COME FROM, JIGGA? Who did you knock up to create him? Bey? Kelis? Who?
Finally, I don’t care what anyone says, Eminem can still rap circles around everyone in the game. Lil Wayne, you need to stop dressing like the car-wash attendants at Tarzana Mobil. I’ll put your ass to work. Grab a towel and that 409. EVERYONE IS RETARDED in the music industry. Kings of Leon, I like you guys, but seriously, you look like J. Crew Rock. So manufactured it’s a joke.
WHO THE FUCK IS ZACH BROWN AND FURTHERMORE WHO IS THE ZACH BROWN BAND?
Ugh….when are the Oscahz?
