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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

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Going to KROQ Acoustic Xmas tonight. Whoa. Very excited to see Phoenix, Metric, Vampr Wknd and for hilarity’s sake, 311. I’ll check out Muse, too.

I haven’t been to one of these since I was in the eighth grade, about ten years ago. I have many fond memories of seeing Blink 182, No Doubt, Garbage, Beck, The Foo Fighters, Bush, The Aquabats, and Green Day. I’ll never forget meeting David Bowie backstage my first year (he headlined), and talking to him as a seventh grader about The Sex Pistols. I’ll always remember banging on Green Day’s dressing room door desperately wanting to meet them only to have Tre Cool open it, grab me by the shirt collar and throw me into the room so that Billy Joe could write NIMROD on my forehead with sharpie. And finally, I wouldn’t trade anything for the moments Gwen Stefani and I shared, as I started falling in love with her. (Romeo + Juliet had just come out, I was emo before it existed). I think my fondest KROQ AC-X moment was telling Tony Kanal he was way cooler than Gavin Rossdale when Gwen started dating the Bush frontman. I mean, come on, “Don’t Speak” is about Tony, it don’t get much cooler than that.

I know you’re probably going “how did this little shit get to do any of this? He’s lying through his teeth.” I’ll tell you how: I used to finger a girl whose father managed No Doubt and founded Trauma Records. Her and I remain friends to this day. See, there she is above in the fifth grade, eating Caesar Salad with Gavin Rossdale.

December 13

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Gwen Stefani & Tony Kanal.

Whoa boy. I could write an entire dissertation on this photo, the rise of No Doubt via Tragic Kingdom, and how if Tony and Gwen never broke up their band never would have skyrocketed to mega-industry success. Come here, let me coach you.
After releasing No Doubt and The Beacon Street Collection, NO DOUBT was basically in the shitter. Their label, Trauma Records (via Interscope) was a bit hesitant to release Tragic Kingdom due to the lack of album sales from their previous efforts. However, their first single, “Just A Girl” garnered early playability due to a leak in the movie CLUELESS — “did you see the locked out Jeep daddy got me?” and heavy rotation on 106.7 KROQ in Los Angeles.
Tony and Gwen had been dating for years. YEARS. Around the end of Beacon Street and Tragic Kingdom they split. After writing goofy songs about Paulina, Food, and Snakes in baskets, Gwen ACTUALLY had some real shit to say because her heart had been broken. Tony was her best friend. They spent “every day together, always” for years, and just like that, POOF, over and out. Furthermore, Eric, Gwen’s brother, had let everyone know he’d be leaving the band after the release of Tragic Kingdom so he could follow his true passion, drawing cartoons.
ANYWAY, picture this: Gwen Stefani, in zipper pants and Princess Leia buns, sitting at her couch in Anaheim, writing about her break-up with Tony. “Excuse Me, Mister”, “Just A Girl”, “Sunday Morning”, “Happy Now”, “Different People,” and finally, the song that would literally SKYROCKET the band to fame, my personal favorite, “Don’t Speak.” It’s all about Tony.
Soon the band would tour, and Tony and Gwen were in a weird ass place. I believe Tony still had a thing for Gwen during the Tragic Kingdom tour, which is when she met Gavin Rossdale of Bush (because Bush was also signed to Trauma Records). They met backstage and it was love at first sight. So you have Gwen going out on stage every night, playing this truly tragic breakup songs, only for her to exit stage right and flirt with Gavin — IN FRONT OF TONY. Whoa. The guy must have been fucked up. Thank God for those wild black dudes on trumpet — I bet they were able to lift his spirits with a spliff and a couple notes on the alto-sax.
The year is 1999. I’m standing backstage at KROQ ACOUSTIC CHRISTMAS, and who should appear out of the wings but Tony Kanal, fresh from the stage, sporting a full on Adidas track suit. I ran over to him, asked him to sign my paper plate with a Sharpie. He asked me my name. I told him. Then I looked back at him and said, swear to God, “dude. I wanna say thanks. Gavin is an asshole. Gwen should’ve stuck with you.” He laughed super hard, looking at this fourteen year old kid with way too much information, and said, “Thanks, little dude.”
I guess that’s what you get for fingering the manager of No Doubt’s daughter in Junior High — way too much insider information. Totally milked that relationship for all it was worth — a couple backstage passes to see No Doubt every so often.

Gwen Stefani & Tony Kanal.

Whoa boy. I could write an entire dissertation on this photo, the rise of No Doubt via Tragic Kingdom, and how if Tony and Gwen never broke up their band never would have skyrocketed to mega-industry success. Come here, let me coach you.

After releasing No Doubt and The Beacon Street Collection, NO DOUBT was basically in the shitter. Their label, Trauma Records (via Interscope) was a bit hesitant to release Tragic Kingdom due to the lack of album sales from their previous efforts. However, their first single, “Just A Girl” garnered early playability due to a leak in the movie CLUELESS — “did you see the locked out Jeep daddy got me?” and heavy rotation on 106.7 KROQ in Los Angeles.

Tony and Gwen had been dating for years. YEARS. Around the end of Beacon Street and Tragic Kingdom they split. After writing goofy songs about Paulina, Food, and Snakes in baskets, Gwen ACTUALLY had some real shit to say because her heart had been broken. Tony was her best friend. They spent “every day together, always” for years, and just like that, POOF, over and out. Furthermore, Eric, Gwen’s brother, had let everyone know he’d be leaving the band after the release of Tragic Kingdom so he could follow his true passion, drawing cartoons.

ANYWAY, picture this: Gwen Stefani, in zipper pants and Princess Leia buns, sitting at her couch in Anaheim, writing about her break-up with Tony. “Excuse Me, Mister”, “Just A Girl”, “Sunday Morning”, “Happy Now”, “Different People,” and finally, the song that would literally SKYROCKET the band to fame, my personal favorite, “Don’t Speak.” It’s all about Tony.

Soon the band would tour, and Tony and Gwen were in a weird ass place. I believe Tony still had a thing for Gwen during the Tragic Kingdom tour, which is when she met Gavin Rossdale of Bush (because Bush was also signed to Trauma Records). They met backstage and it was love at first sight. So you have Gwen going out on stage every night, playing this truly tragic breakup songs, only for her to exit stage right and flirt with Gavin — IN FRONT OF TONY. Whoa. The guy must have been fucked up. Thank God for those wild black dudes on trumpet — I bet they were able to lift his spirits with a spliff and a couple notes on the alto-sax.

The year is 1999. I’m standing backstage at KROQ ACOUSTIC CHRISTMAS, and who should appear out of the wings but Tony Kanal, fresh from the stage, sporting a full on Adidas track suit. I ran over to him, asked him to sign my paper plate with a Sharpie. He asked me my name. I told him. Then I looked back at him and said, swear to God, “dude. I wanna say thanks. Gavin is an asshole. Gwen should’ve stuck with you.” He laughed super hard, looking at this fourteen year old kid with way too much information, and said, “Thanks, little dude.”

I guess that’s what you get for fingering the manager of No Doubt’s daughter in Junior High — way too much insider information. Totally milked that relationship for all it was worth — a couple backstage passes to see No Doubt every so often.

July 23

no doubt

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The 90’s were weird

(via francesberesfordgrant)

March 8

no doubt

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