Questions? Concerns? Advertisers? Email JewSqueeze{at}gmail.com

Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

Copyright 2009-2011 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Candi Stanton - You’ve Got The Love (SATC Finale Song)

If this doesn’t make all the cunts wet, I donno what will…



This is the saddest news I have heard in a long time.  Adam Yauch has cancer, and therefore, will have to postpone the upcoming BEASTIE BOYS tour.

Mr. Yauch, I am praying for your quick recovery.

Per my boy Matt, whose father is a doctor, and whose mother had this and was treated for it: “if it’s malignant, which it says his is, it’s almost always treatable. salivary/thyroid cancers are pretty ‘good’ ones to have.” 

“To all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends, I wanna offer my love and respect to the end.” - B.E.A.S.T.I.E. Boys



(via fuckyeahdaftpunk)
Best night of my life.  Period.  (Didn’t even take drugs).  

(via fuckyeahdaftpunk)

Best night of my life.  Period.  (Didn’t even take drugs).  



Saw Blink 182 Last Night…Oy Vey…

And it was even weirder than I could’ve ever imagined.  Probably the first time I left a Blink show and didn’t try to schtup my (then) 17 year old girlfriend.  

Kids today are so fucking lame.  They don’t even know how to start a mosh pit.  And it was like Moms checkin in on their kids, and all I could think the whole time was jesus christ, am I really 24?  Why the fuck am I at a Blink 182 show?  Oh, it’s free for friends and family…which I’m neither…

Should’ve stayed home to watch WEEDS and NURSE JACKIE.  Whatever, way I figure: it’s like going to MJ’s funeral…witnessing HISTORY. 



Imagine how much dirty schtuppin’ each one of my these Pistols is responsible for? 
Punk Is Dead.  
Lucky for us, like diamonds, The Pistols are Forever.  

Imagine how much dirty schtuppin’ each one of my these Pistols is responsible for? 

Punk Is Dead.  

Lucky for us, like diamonds, The Pistols are Forever.  



The Dead Weather - Treat Me Like Your Mother (dir: Jonathan Glazer)

Saw these dudes (and Kills babe) at the Roxy 3 weeks ago with Mini Mansions.  

Video is pretty sick…like some T2 shit.



“She said I’ll throw myself away. They’re just photos after all.”

Queens Of The Stoneage aka The Homie Homme



Favorite Band Of All Time.

Favorite Band Of All Time.



“I Wanna Be Your Dog”

Iggy Pop



Queens Of The Stoneage, San Francisco, CA, 2008

Queens Of The Stoneage, San Francisco, CA, 2008