I just had a fucking brilliant realization. These two fucks, Lady GaGa and Marilyn Manson, are essentially the same person. Their whole existence is based on the idea of “WHOA! Look how controversial I am. Did you see what I wore last night?”
Lemme explain to those of you playing along at home….
Most of America relishes the controversial: Balloon Boy, Columbine, Osama Bin Laden, a black President, etc etc. Enter Marilyn Manson. When Antichrist Superstar debuted in 1997 kids all over America shit themselves, dyed their hair black, cut themselves, and wore black nail polish (trust me, I was one of them). I was entranced by the fact that this guy could do/say anything and get away with it. On that same record, Marilyn screams on Irresponsible Hate Anthem, “Everybody is someone else’s nigger, I don’t need to choose a side.” Racist, yea. Thought provoking, not so much. Shocking, always. That’s all he wants. For you to know and acknowledge that he said the N-word. Marilyn went on to wipe his ass with an American flag, pretend to fellate his bassist, and welcomed all the goofy rumors (he never removed a rib to blow himself, he is not that Leave it to Beaver guy, either). He’s just a fucked up boy who watched his grandpa beat off to trains in the basement. (Trust me, I know, I read the book). Like I said, I was enamored with this clown. Nowadays, the tables have turned. Marilyn is not always in the news, in fact, he starts internet fights to keep himself in the public eye. Nobody cares anymore. He did all he can do to transform the brains of the easily-impressionable youth of America. Now he’s sort of a joke. He has to go to such extreme lengths as making music videos that would have you believe he murdered Rachel Evan Wood. He also threatens people via his MySpace (Bro, it’s 2009…get a Facebok account already. You’re old idol Trent had a Twitter, look what it did for his album sales, ya fuck!)
Remember, Marilyn Manson would be nothing without Trent Reznor, who is basically the brains behind his earlier albums (the ones that DON’T SUCK DICK: Smells Like Children, Antichrist, Mechanical Animals). God, reading this I realize how much I still know about this asshat. Point is, Lady GaGa is the new Marilyn Manson. Let me explain some more…
GaGa represents to girls what Manson represented to boys in the late 90’s. When Boy Bands like *N Sync ruled the scene, we needed a Manson to stick a flagpole at the opposite side of the spectrum (Eminem helped with this). Nowadays, we don’t. Being Justin Timberpuss is cool now. Homie smokes weed and fucks more bitches than a handsome Golden Retriever. However, back in the day, Manson was the alternative to all the garbage music of the time. Furthermore, he gave the Nirvana hanger-oners a hope that aggressive, angry, poetic, alternative music could be made in the absence of Kurt Cobain. Frankly, the world doesn’t need Marilyn Manson anymore. He’s been replaced by “fake” agressive bands like My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park, etc. HOWEVER…
The world can ALWAYS use a sultry bitch who never wears pants and sings catchier songs than that Johnny Cash/June Carter duo. I mean really, somebody has to make poppy songs now that Britney shit out two kids, Wino is off and on the pipe so often she’s the human embodiment of a detox cycle, and well, Kayne is busy ruining the image he worked so hard to achieve. As an alternative to Taylor Swift, GaGa represents the other half of the spectrum — good girls who wish they were bad (Rihanna tried this too, and she would’ve succeeded had she punched Chris Brown back). GaGa wears what she wants, says what she wants, and goes so far as to imply that she has a dick [just like Manson had tits and a Vag back in his Mechanical Animal days] so long as you keep talking about her. They both will stop at nothing to keep your mind focused on them. But the spotlight is only so big.
In the words of GaGa, “I’m your biggest fan I’ll follow you until you love me….” I get it, she is her own biggest fan, and will stop at NOTHING (even if it means pretending to have a dick) to keep herself in the public eye, in the flash of the paparazzi, and on the shelf of pop-culture as long as she can before she has to….paint? Sell Absinthe? What is it that Marilyn does all day again?
GaGa - Mazel Tov, you’re here for a few more years.
Manson - Beep. Beep. You’re time is up. Take off the face-paint, cut your hair, and move back to Florida to retire with your assloads of cash (or did you snort it all?)
That’s a rhetorical question; I know the answer.
