I will totally fuck Ke$ha - bitch likes to get pedis, I like when girls have them.
Ohhh whoaaa oh oh.
Good morning, P Diddy.
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Ask me shit!
About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.
Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.
Copyright 2009-2011 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze
BREAKING!
This Just In: Ke$ha stupider than previously thought…
I don’t know about you guys/gals, but her whole existence bothers me. I’ll tell you why.
Tick Tock is spelled like this. NOT TIK TOK, fucking retard. Obviously, this bitch was too busy painting Circle Of Life Lion King drawings on her face when she should have been paying attention during 1st grade spelling.
You’re not Ma$e. You don’t get to include a dollar sign in your name, you honkey bitch. At best you are reminiscent some floozy I schtupped during a weekend at RISD (Rhode Island School of Design), you know, those girls who think they’re so artistic because they spend all day wearing Keds, playing with blowtorches. May I suggest a moist toilette to remove the garbage Sharpie from your body? You look like the living embodiment of Texts from Last Night or College Bathroom Humor.
Are you coming to us live from a dorm room? What the fuck is with that tiny bed/room?
Furthermore, did you OD on Acutane? What’s with this video? You seem strung out on Cookie Crisps, you psycho hose beast. May I suggest an evening in, a warm bath, and a Disney VHS?
Lastly, how big are your feet, you gargantuan Pop-Singing beast.
Keçha, the reason “Steven doesn’t call” you is because he probably saw this video and had a similar averse reaction.
NOW HIT THE SHOWER you linebacker.
Keçha -
Glad you could take some time from brushing your teeth with Jack and feeling like P. Diddy (Puffy Daddy, or actual, new Ciroc sponsored Diddy?) to take a swim in the ocean this week. You really deserve the vacation. Man, you must be working hard.
In any event, you make me want to vomit. You could be a farmer in those clothes. Nobody wants to touch your junk.
Blah.
Blah.
Blah.
Oh, here’s Ke$ha last night after she and two other girls went berserk on me.
I’ll UN-PRIVATE the post later so you can all read it.
Ke$ha’s new single is worse than the night I lost my virginity, broke a condom, and wound up at Planned Parenthhood 5 hours later.
But, she’s like so CONTROVERSIAL, GuyZ! Have you seen her gold tooth? It’s like she’s from the streets.
WHAT A JOKE! HA!
Just in case you don’t have dramamine in your desk drawers…proceed with cuation - it’s Ke$ha in a bikini.
You know, it’s shocking, she looks even more haggard without all that CAMP NOWHERE glow in the dark Avatar facepaint.
Vom Status.
According to the internet, Kesha (sorry guys, I really can’t bring myself to write it with a dollar sign) wrote her new song “We R Who We R” in the wake of “news that bullying had led to multiple suicides of gay youth”. That’s nice of her, huh? I can’t imagine it could have been easy to write and record the lead single for a super-hyped, major label album in the one month between September (when gay teen suicide started to become a “hot story”) and the October release of “We R Who We R”. Oh wait, maybe that’s because SHE DIDN’T.
Read the rest at Vice Magazine: Viceland TodayBREAKING: Ket$hup Still SUX. Read it at vice. Clink the link above, ya dumbolina!
I just found the holy grail on Facebook.
Kesha $ebert. Are you kidding me? Wow. Wow. Wow.
Who knew we had so much in common? I like Face Paint and trash bags.
In 2 years let’s look back on this screen shot to remember who K3$ha was and the good times she had, and then we can have her and Vanilla Ice host MTV’s 50 most wild fashion tragedies before the 2012 VMAs.
Being friends with Kesh Kesh on Facebook isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A billion dollars.
