(via lesfemmes)
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About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess/sport-fucking buddy. His father, a St. Louis cowboy at heart, reined him in as a child, only having to wash out his mouth with soap once during his early years.
Single, forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man finds himself thoroughly concerned with finding a wife, but more importantly, a bitch to lay with in the meantime.
Oh, and he wants me to tell you he he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City back in '01.
Copyright 2009-2010 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze
So I, turned up the collar of
My favorite winter coat
This babe is a-blowin’ my mind.
From her head to her feet
There’s enuff to eat
Who am I
To deny
Pretending
I dont want to schtup her.
I’m looking at the Man in THe Mirror
I’m asking him to filet this babe.
(via hotchicksinpanties)
This is fucking epic…but IS THAT A TAMPON STRING?! DAMN GIRL GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
I do wanna have sex with a girl who’s only wearing converse, and then I will take them off and we can be Adam and Eve.
I will eat you so!
{Miss you, Boston to LA to NYCer}
I want your legs wrapped around my head, on my bed, with the patio doors open, the Gorillaz blasting, and the spliffs burning on the nightstand.
Come home.
Mmmmmmm leg for daze.
Sara and Darling Nikki.
Wouldn’t you know it, Sara was my very first french kiss. And it was so good we’ve been best friends to this very day. I like to think it’s because my lips have magical powers, but I know it’s cuz she just likes my jokes jokes jokes.
Uggghhhh so haute.
Sara, you are the greatest. Your ex bf is a moron.
She’s the perfect girl.
She’s the perfect girl.
In your father’s world.
In your father’s world.
