I just cant refuse it
Please dont stop the
Please dont stop the
MUSIC
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Ask me shit!
About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.
Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.
Copyright 2009-2011 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze
I RULEZ.
“I wish I had a girlfriend. I wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine.”
Girls (the band, not the sexual species)
Lolita and Yahoo:
I bet you guys are really tight.
And by tight I’m referring to your vaginas.
Just so we’re on the same page
(Kate you are stupid hot).
I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
You know that scene in the series finale of Sex & The City where Petrovsky takes Carrie to see his light installation and the curators turn to him and clap “GENIUSSS! GENIUSSS!!!” ??????????
I see this and think the same thing.
That, and who is schtupping her?
SOPHIE SIMPSON will be a Golden Globe winning actress. Count on it.
I’m just super happy we’re BBM friends.
Girls: you can’t outsmart me because you wanna orgasm.
My Dream Girl
wears an oversized sweatshirt with one side of the collar off the shoulder, flip flops, and tiny undies.
She reads (books, not just Cosmo).
She plays Mario on Ghetto Nintendo (8 bit Mario bros).
She pronounces MARIO like MAR - E - O not MARE-E-O
She listens to No Doubt and The Doors and 2Pac and Leonard Cohen, but also appreciates The Flying Burrito Brothers
She fucks like I drive, fast, crazy, but always in control.
She wears converse but doesn’t always put them on completely. She likes to scoot in them when she gets the mail.
She uses a Mac.
She calls me endearing names that aren’t lame, such as “Bond” or “Lagerfeld.”
She eats McNuggets (when applicable)
She uses proper punctuation when writing thank-you notes.
She knows how to swim and likes to play Marco Polo.
She knows how to roll spliffs, and she rolls them for me.
She knows the importance of a proper mani/pedi.
She thinks Ned Hepburn is funny.
She is on Team Coco.
She eats sushi, steak, lobster, fried foods, and chocolate.
She loves my family and they love her.
4 Wallz and Adobe Photoshop for Mah Girlz.
