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About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess/sport-fucking buddy. His father, a St. Louis cowboy at heart, reined him in as a child, only having to wash out his mouth with soap once during his early years.
Single, forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man finds himself thoroughly concerned with finding a wife, but more importantly, a bitch to lay with in the meantime.
Oh, and he wants me to tell you he he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City back in '01.
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The Description that Goes with the BREAKING DAWN link
Well fuck me. My link description is coding weird. Anygay, read this and pretend it goes with the link below:
This will be the most insane, goofy, fucked up movie ever produced. If made. And it will get made because the Twilight Saga has made so much money, that it would be essentially equal to leaving $400,000,000 on a gaming table, knowing if you rolled the dice you would win. And it will be made according to the book because otherwise, the entire Twihard fandom world will bring the studio (Summit Ent) to its knees. Remember when they tried to get rid of Taylor Lautner? Not so successful.
However, Breaking Dawn entails a baby almost killing Kristen Stewart whilst In Utero (great album by the way), Jacob falling in love with said baby, and Edward perfroming a C-section on his wife with his teeth! If that ain’t cinema, I don’t know what is.
Read this article. It’s pretty fucking hilarious. Shit, I should’ve written it.
Eclipse trailer
Who wants to get back on the Twilight train?! Toot toot! Comin’ in for a stop at bazillion dollar box office! I know Bella will end up with Edward, but I wonder what happens to Jacob. Does he go Rogue like Sarah Palin and end up with a twisted stripper from Des Moines? I mean, duh, he’s gonna lose to Pattinson…his wang sparkles!!
Anyway, enjoy this. Good morning!
Kristen Stewart's 9 Best Red Carpet Moments - via Styleite
Brought to you by Styleite and the flyest girl to hang in her prom dress. I hope you all are excited for Eclipse tonight.
I know I am!
Who’s coming with me?!
