Jigga: Honeybee, let’s dip. They’re out of Pretzel... -

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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

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Jigga: Honeybee, let’s dip. They’re out of Pretzel Goldfish.

Beyonce: Forreal. This place is dead anyway. Whatchu think JiggaMayne?

Beyonce: Ionno, was thinkin’ you’d take me to Pinkberry and we could watch THE REAL L WORD on Showtime.

Jigga: I hate THE REAL WORLD.

Beyonce: No! Jay! The REAL L WORD, It’s about lesbians with kids and one of them looks like the lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls and it’s really great.

Jigga: Bee! Why don’t you do yo’ thang. I’m gonna hit the studio with Pharrell and Drizzy. They wanna play some Dreidel Dreidel mash-up Drake’s working on for the holidays.

Beyonce: I’ll make it worth your while.

Jigga: Is that so?

Beyonce: Can I A Get A?

Jigga: Don’t you think for one second I forgot about Destiny’s Children. Remember “Bug-A-Boo?” Never 4get.

July 13