Last year I ended up taking a piss next to Russel... -

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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

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Last year I ended up taking a piss next to Russel Brand at the Jane Hotel (the night of Ratones birthday, actually). I kept trying to look at his peen to see what Katy was working with…to no avail. All I could think while we pissed next to each other was how unfair it is that he gets to go home and wax this like Miyagi. This picture.  He doesn’t deserve her! I mean, maybe he does and they have a blast and are totes in sync, but really…KATY, you’re like a new Popsicle, fresh from the freezer…you can have any man on the planet suck on you.

Last year I ended up taking a piss next to Russel Brand at the Jane Hotel (the night of Ratones birthday, actually). I kept trying to look at his peen to see what Katy was working with…to no avail.

All I could think while we pissed next to each other was how unfair it is that he gets to go home and wax this like Miyagi. This picture. 

He doesn’t deserve her! I mean, maybe he does and they have a blast and are totes in sync, but really…KATY, you’re like a new Popsicle, fresh from the freezer…you can have any man on the planet suck on you.


May 18
Katy Perry
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