Question…

Hey. I have a completely random question! It has to do with male vs. female confidence!

This came up the other day…OK. I’m gonna give you a situation. Sally is hanging out with a bunch of her guy friends. Perhaps they are watching a Laker game. Maybe some of them she has an extremely marginal romantic interest in, maybe some of them she accidentally slept with once or twice in high school, but the majority of them are just her dudes. She’s ‘one of the boys’ so to speak. She prides herself on being able to hang tough or whatever, and these dudes talk about the same shit in front of her as they do with one another. (for the record, I am NOT Sally. honest.)

Then one of the dudes, off of whatever prompt mentions, “Dude…Betty is so hot” and another one pipes up “Oh my God I know, ugggh so sexy” “Yea but she’s out of all of our leagues…” “Did you see her last weekend?” “Yea she looked amazing but she was with that tool!! How does he get a chick as killer as that?!” “Damn. The things I would do get in Betty’s pants.” 

Sally knows Betty! They aren’t besties, but they are facebook friends! and they tell eachother they look cute when they see one another! and last week! they were drunk! and betty said “omg we haaaave to get together soon and try that froyo place you were telling me about!”

!!!!

Sally sits there, quiet, contemplating. Unless she decides to go “full bro” and start making fun of these dudes for being all flustered about a babe, she has an inner monologue that goes something like this: “Woah, is Betty such a babe? Why is she considered to be so sexy? Am I that sexy? Do they ever talk about me like that? No, of course they don’t. I’m nowhere near as sexy as Betty! These dudes are a random survey of the general male population, and they are way more interested in Betty than they are in me. Therefore, to the world at large, whatever I give off is waaay less potent than whatever pheromones Betty has going on.  No wonder I can’t get laid. I am not inviting that girl to my birthday party.”

Does this EVER happen to guys? Because…if science tells us that guys are often thinking about sex, and if Woody Allen tells us that every guy subconsciously wants to bang every girl he’s friends with…wouldnt it make sense that you guys would get all stressy and bummed if your girlfriends were so excited about one of your buddies too? Maybe you’d get even more huffy than us?

Something tells me you don’t come close to huffy. You just get a) jealous b) pissed or c) indifferent. Most likely, indifferent. You can probably convince yourself (in half the time it takes us to convince ourselves all our friends are hotter than us) that you are way radder, hands down, than that asshole. Or you immediately just say “whatever,” and mean it. Is that true???

I’m gonna take a hint from you boys and your confidence. When I was 12, I tried out for the boys football team at school, even though girls weren’t allowed. It was just me and like a million boys and i did really well and i made it!! Sister Monica eventually kicked me off, but the coach told me i wouldve been a starter!! these days i wouldnt come close to being that ballsy/confident like a dude! what happened to that!! well, its comin back, i can tell you that mister. …mister internet. 

I know no one really writes back to this blog, but alot of you read it. so maybe my little barfed out paragraphs here will make you think…as this question floats off into the ether with no response but the echoing sound of my fingies tap-tap-tappin on my macbook. Love, Molly.

p.s. that photo is me as buddy holly one great halloween a few years ago. i thought it went well with the ‘taking hints from dudes’ theme. my friend anna there was gray’s anatomy. haha.