Wow - after doing this photo shoot with Tyler Shields, Lindsay was quoted as saying “it’s not soft core porn…it’s art.” As if WE don’t understand. Now, as someone who is appreciative of the arts and into all things cultural (like poontang from Brazil) let me have a few words.
Lindsay, you wouldn’t know a Lichtenstein if it took a dump on your head. Seriously. What the fuck do you know about art? The closest you’ve ever come is Mean Girls, and that’s thanks to Tina Fey. She es un artiste (for the written word of the script). No, you know what…the closest you’ve come to art is making your signature shake at Millions of Milkshakes (a dollop of coke, M&Ms, half a Xanax, Vanilla extract, and delusional realities).
Linds — have you ever seen a David Hockney up close? Can you spot a Rothko from across the room? Can you point out what influences Basquiat drew from Warhol? Can you even fucking tell me who cut off his left ear ? - (duh it was Jackson Pollock).
It’s like that line in the original “Fast And The Furious” : You don’t just step in the ring with Ali because you think you box.”
Did I mention Vin Diesel is the greatest thing to happen to car movies since Steve McQueen?
Lindsay Lohan photographed by Tyler Shields
