BREAKING! This Just In: Ke$ha stupider than... -

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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess/sport-fucking buddy. His father, a St. Louis cowboy at heart, reined him in as a child, only having to wash out his mouth with soap once during his early years.

Single, forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man finds himself thoroughly concerned with finding a wife, but more importantly, a bitch to lay with in the meantime.

Oh, and he wants me to tell you he he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City back in '01.

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BREAKING!

This Just In: Ke$ha stupider than previously thought…

I don’t know about you guys/gals, but her whole existence bothers me. I’ll tell you why.

Tick Tock is spelled like this. NOT TIK TOK, fucking retard. Obviously, this bitch was too busy painting Circle Of Life Lion King drawings on her face when she should have been paying attention during 1st grade spelling.

You’re not Ma$e. You don’t get to include a dollar sign in your name, you honkey bitch. At best you are reminiscent some floozy I schtupped during a weekend at RISD (Rhode Island School of Design), you know, those girls who think they’re so artistic because they spend all day wearing Keds, playing with blowtorches. May I suggest a moist toilette to remove the garbage Sharpie from your body? You look like the living embodiment of Texts from Last Night or College Bathroom Humor.

Are you coming to us live from a dorm room? What the fuck is with that tiny bed/room?

Furthermore, did you OD on Acutane? What’s with this video? You seem strung out on Cookie Crisps, you psycho hose beast. May I suggest an evening in, a warm bath, and a Disney VHS?

Lastly, how big are your feet, you gargantuan Pop-Singing beast.

Keçha, the reason “Steven doesn’t call” you is because he probably saw this video and had a similar averse reaction.

NOW HIT THE SHOWER you linebacker.

March 1

kesha

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