What’s a deal breaker for you when you’re on a date with a girl…is there something that girls always do that make you not want to schtup them? -

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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess/sport-fucking buddy. His father, a St. Louis cowboy at heart, reined him in as a child, only having to wash out his mouth with soap once during his early years.

Single, forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man finds himself thoroughly concerned with finding a wife, but more importantly, a bitch to lay with in the meantime.

Oh, and he wants me to tell you he he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City back in '01.

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bedbathandbeyonce asked: What's a deal breaker for you when you're on a date with a girl...is there something that girls always do that make you not want to schtup them?

This is a great question, and I will answer it honestly. There are a few things a girl can do to make me turned off from them completely:

1) Try to talk shop aka talk about Hollywood/work in bed. That’s just a game-changer. I have to spend 12 hours a day talking about this crap, after a schtup the last thing I wanna hear is a girl sounding like Turtle.

2) Nasty/not pedicured toes. I’m sorry, man. Seacrest and Luda agree. Vamp, Red, Pink, Blue, I don’t care. As long as your hands and feet be flossin’. The reason: if you don’t care about your nails, than you aren’t going to care about your vagina, or its upkeep for that matter.

3) If you’ve never heard of Swingers or 3 Ninjas

4) You don’t have to smoke weed, but if you give me shit for doing so, especially considering the highly productive work week I have, you can suck a dick…just not mine.

5) Finally, I can’t stand girls who act entitled. I grew up in LA…in the Valley…if you sound like Cher Horowitz in Clueless but aren’t half as hot…shut the fuck up.

February 8

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