Heidi - Babe, let me give you some advice on... -

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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

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Heidi - Babe, let me give you some advice on yoga. First off, you should do it naked as often as possible. Second, you don’t have to tweet while you’re harnessing your chi. We get it — you LOOOOOVE the spotlight. Is nothing sacred, you Kundalini cow? All the beads in the world aren’t going to keep you from an inevitable fall from grace. I mean, I loved THE REAL YOU. You were so gorgeous. Why did you have to have all that surgery? If Spencer was really the man he says he is, he would’ve loved you just the way you are, like Billy Joel. Finally, I know this picture doesn’t showcase it, but damn babe, you have some LONG ass toes. Scary. Spooksville.

Heidi -

Babe, let me give you some advice on yoga. First off, you should do it naked as often as possible. Second, you don’t have to tweet while you’re harnessing your chi. We get it — you LOOOOOVE the spotlight. Is nothing sacred, you Kundalini cow? All the beads in the world aren’t going to keep you from an inevitable fall from grace.

I mean, I loved THE REAL YOU. You were so gorgeous. Why did you have to have all that surgery? If Spencer was really the man he says he is, he would’ve loved you just the way you are, like Billy Joel.

Finally, I know this picture doesn’t showcase it, but damn babe, you have some LONG ass toes. Scary. Spooksville.


January 26
heidi spencer prett montag
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