justin: Watch this in case you’re not sure … ... -

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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

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justin:

Watch this in case you’re not sure …

WHOAAAAAA!!! DUDE! EPIC!

For those readers of the Squeeze that don’t understand how I blog…I hit you with me verbal vitriol via Tumblr, a fantastic blogging platform in the vein of WordPress (but way better, and not just because Perez “I can’t Spell…I use the word fag as a slur even though I’ve had more dick in me than Nixon’s ex-wife” Hilton uses the latter). I love Tumblr exactly for reasons like THIS!

See about 20 seconds ago I refreshed the page and the entire Tumblr dashboard (which is like your Facebook homepage — sort of, it’s not as lame) had this video with a dude asking Marissa to marry him! HOW EPIC IS THAT! Furthermore, I guess this is why I blog, write, get out of bed, man. I want this. Not to fag out (and I say fag out because well, I LIKE to fag out…you can fag out to Lady GaGa, or a wedding video…), but I look forward to meeting my wife, the woman that I enjoy seeing, hanging with, reading to, watching TV with, and schtupping for all of eternity. I guess I blog because I haven’t found her yet, and I imagine that the women I will give myself to will love me for the nutty, Jewish, insane Zoloft addled blogger/entertainer (not to be all McAleer about it) that I am.

So, Marissa (the metaphorical version), if you are out there and on the internet…CALL ME! I’m really fun.

Oh, and I love eating pussy.

Xox

November 18

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