Good morning, ladies. How are you? I’m good, you... -

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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess/sport-fucking buddy. His father, a St. Louis cowboy at heart, reined him in as a child, only having to wash out his mouth with soap once during his early years.

Single, forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man finds himself thoroughly concerned with finding a wife, but more importantly, a bitch to lay with in the meantime.

Oh, and he wants me to tell you he he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City back in '01.

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Good morning, ladies. How are you? I’m good, you know, just catching up on the news. It appears that I’ve been arrested for schtupping a 13 year old girl back in the 70s…weird. Everyone was doing blow, driving ugly cars, wearing even uglier clothes, and listening to Donna Summer; my mind isn’t what it was (save for when I was making Rosemary’s Baby and Chinatown). Once in a while, a guy stumbles into a pitfall of Johnson & Johnson powdered, un-matured, pervy-soft vagina. Call it a lapse in judgement; it was really the ludes.

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the PIANIST.

September 29

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