killingbambi: hangingonmytongue: bohemea: Lily... -

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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

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killingbambi:

hangingonmytongue:

bohemea:

Lily Allen - GQ UK by Simon Emmett, October 2009

creo que esta es la primera vez que de hecho ME GUSTA lily, me gusta BASTANTE

No clue what the fuck that means, that there up top. I think I got an A in Spanish though. Whatevs, too busy trying to get HJs to pay attention.

Let me rant about Lils Allen for a second, because she really makes my penis go “eh?” I think what I like most about Lily is that she really is one of the guys — she eats ribs in bed, smokes weed, drinks like a fish, wears Air Jordans, and generally doesn’t give a fuck about the preconceived notions of how a pop-star should act/be in 2009. She also writes the effing cutest songs about boys, etc. “There just one thing that’s getting in the way, when we go up to bed, you’re just no good it’s such a shame. I look into your eyes, I want to get to know ya’, and than you make this noise and it’s apparent it’s all ovah! It’s not fair and I think you’re really mean, oh I think you’re really mean, oh you’re supposed to care, but you’ve never made me scream!”

I can’t even imagine what that is like, getting laid and not coming. That sounds awful. Back to the topic at hand: Lilster. I bet she loves Faulty Towers, The Mighty Boosh, and Chris Pine. I bet she listens to old Nirvana albums (pre-Nevermind…which really only means she likes BLEACH), has an affinity for Garbage Pail Kids, and is the bombs at making fuck.