A conversation from this morning: 8:23 AM — My... -

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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

Copyright 2009-2011 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze

A conversation from this morning: 8:23 AM — My alarm clock goes off — blaring Loveryboy’s WORKING FOR THE WEEKEND. 8:25 AM: “Matty, turn it off! I don’t have to be on set until 11.” 8:28 AM: “Matty, stop snoring! You lumox turn it off!” EVERYBODY NEEDS A SECOND CHANCE!! 8:30 AM: (rising from the dead) “HUHH!!!? WHAT?!” 8:31 AM: “Ugh, you are so annoying. Where’s your bong?” 8:32 AM: “K- Stew, it’s where it always is, next to the Astroglide on my nightstand, open your eyes.  Oh, I forgot, Vampires don’t sleep real well.” 8:32 AM: “Ha ha. Very funny, motherfucker. Blog about it.” 8:34 AM: “Honey, pookster, it’s not my fault I schtup/date/love the most waify-half-asleep stoner-babe on the market. I didn’t post pics of you getting HAAAH on your porch.” 8:36 AM: **KRISTEN RIPS A HIT THROUGH ROOR**  8:38 AM: **MATTY DESCRUSTS HIS EYES.** 8:38 AM (cont’d): “Are you wearing a bath robe?” 8:39 AM: “Yeah, Chris Weitz gave it to me on the New Moon set. It got quite chilly..” 8:40 AM: “Come here, snuggles, I’ll keep you warm” **MATTY PUTS HAND IN BETWEEN K.STEWS LEGS AND THEY FALL BACK ASLEEP INTO A DREAMY PLACE FILLED WITH VAMPIRES, LIL WAYNE, PEANUT BUTTER SANDOS, AND OLD NO DOUBT SONGS.** Ahh, the bliss of marriage. 

A conversation from this morning:

8:23 AM — My alarm clock goes off — blaring Loveryboy’s WORKING FOR THE WEEKEND.

8:25 AM: “Matty, turn it off! I don’t have to be on set until 11.”

8:28 AM: “Matty, stop snoring! You lumox turn it off!”

EVERYBODY NEEDS A SECOND CHANCE!!

8:30 AM: (rising from the dead) “HUHH!!!? WHAT?!”

8:31 AM: “Ugh, you are so annoying. Where’s your bong?”

8:32 AM: “K- Stew, it’s where it always is, next to the Astroglide on my nightstand, open your eyes.  Oh, I forgot, Vampires don’t sleep real well.”

8:32 AM: “Ha ha. Very funny, motherfucker. Blog about it.”

8:34 AM: “Honey, pookster, it’s not my fault I schtup/date/love the most waify-half-asleep stoner-babe on the market. I didn’t post pics of you getting HAAAH on your porch.”

8:36 AM: **KRISTEN RIPS A HIT THROUGH ROOR** 

8:38 AM: **MATTY DESCRUSTS HIS EYES.**

8:38 AM (cont’d): “Are you wearing a bath robe?”

8:39 AM: “Yeah, Chris Weitz gave it to me on the New Moon set. It got quite chilly..”

8:40 AM: “Come here, snuggles, I’ll keep you warm”

**MATTY PUTS HAND IN BETWEEN K.STEWS LEGS AND THEY FALL BACK ASLEEP INTO A DREAMY PLACE FILLED WITH VAMPIRES, LIL WAYNE, PEANUT BUTTER SANDOS, AND OLD NO DOUBT SONGS.**

Ahh, the bliss of marriage. 


September 22
k stew
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