Uh huh. “Hey Rob, it’s K…” “Oh, hey Bella…how’s... -

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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

Copyright 2009-2011 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze

Uh huh. “Hey Rob, it’s K…” “Oh, hey Bella…how’s your break comin’ along?” “Awesome! I’m just, like, smoking weed on some yacht with this weird fuck, listening to some awesome jamz on my iPod that Joan Jett gave me.”  “Brilliant.” [thinks to himself: I’m Rob Pattinson. I’m so charming.] ”Hey, Krissy, are you wearing that bikini I got you in Caicos?” “Duh… “Cool.” “So, like wanna get high and fuck next time were togethskis?” “Totally…also want to see the new Harry Pottah…” “So I’ll see you at Comic Con?” “Def.  I’m under the name Edward Cullen at the Ritz…”

Uh huh.

“Hey Rob, it’s K…”

“Oh, hey Bella…how’s your break comin’ along?”

“Awesome! I’m just, like, smoking weed on some yacht with this weird fuck, listening to some awesome jamz on my iPod that Joan Jett gave me.” 

“Brilliant.” [thinks to himself: I’m Rob Pattinson. I’m so charming.] ”Hey, Krissy, are you wearing that bikini I got you in Caicos?”

“Duh…

“Cool.”

“So, like wanna get high and fuck next time were togethskis?”

“Totally…also want to see the new Harry Pottah…”

“So I’ll see you at Comic Con?”

“Def.  I’m under the name Edward Cullen at the Ritz…”


July 23
want to schtup kristen stewart
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