All Love Everything -

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Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

Copyright 2009-2011 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze

All Love Everything

(this is me at 3AM on January 1st, 2011)

As we approach the new year of 2012, I want to encourage everyone to focus on what you have instead of what you want, who loves you as opposed of who isn’t giving you enough attention, and those things/people in your life that add the curvature in your smile, blessing you with indelible moments and happiness. 

I would like to take a minute to share my utmost appreciation for life. I hope it doesn’t come off as bragging, or even trite, because I say/write the following with clear eyes and a full heart. Can’t lose. I am incredibly lucky for all of the following, and it’s all I can do but to share my admiration with you. 

2011: A Look Back At The Places and People: 

I nearly burst into particles of happiness, watching the sun rise with Jonathan and a group of amazing Jewish kids at the top of Massada in Israel on Birthright, an experience that I’ll never forget. Listening to this song on my iPhone at 3AM:

I witnessed my best friend fall in love over the course of four years, finally asking his girlfriend to marry him this year (she said yes). Way to go, Adam! 

I am completely inspired by my brother, watching him direct an entire studio of videographers and musicians in what would become the awesome PaPa video for “I Am The Lion King.” 

I screamed at the top of my lungs for my friends Evan and Darren, as they were introduced as the Weiss brothers to a sold-out show, playing with GIRLS at the Henry Fonda Theater. 

I was lucky enough to dance and sing with my friends to the likes of Prince, Blink 182, LCD Soundsystem, Holy Ghost, Cut Copy, Drake, Maroon 5, Incubus, Slang Chickens, Mini Mansions, Queens of the Stoneage, and Jay-Z/Kanye West. I know that I am not entitled to any of this, and that I am in the .001% of the world’s population that gets to experience such incredibly talented entertainers on an almost weekly basis, mainly thanks to my friends who keep me hip. 

I’d like to acknowledge Steve Prinz, EbDog, Andrea, Marc, and Adam at Paramount for being so supportive of my decision to follow my dreams of being a writer, while still including me in the Pmount fun even though I left the fraternity. You guys are family to me, and the years I spent working for and with you made me strong, resourceful, and able to achieve anything as long as I stick to my guns and believe in myself. NEVER SAY NEVER! 

In what was probably the first mature adult relationship I’ve ever had, I’d like to take a moment to tell Sara how happy I am that we are true friends. After all is said and done, in the wake of a relationship, it’s extremely difficult to acknowledge the good things about the ones you loved, turning those positives into a friendship, as opposed to focusing on the negative resentment. I am so blessed to have met you and shared such fond memories (like flying a plane or singing Scotty McReery together). 

I’m incredibly lucky to wake up each and every day and work for an incredible boss on a show that so many people love. Revenge is sweet! (That’s Whiskey, our Writers’ Office Mascot, with a Kleenex box on his head). 

I have two incredible parents, JereNSteph, who keep me grounded, showering me with love no matter what I say, what I come barreling in the front door wearing on Hangover Sundays, or who I choose to be from month to month. Mom and Dad, I love you to pieces. I know I’m a handful, even at twenty-six, and I thank you for every dollar you spent and every Ritalin bottle prescribed over the years to turn me into the man I am today. 

I have a best friend in my brother, Jonathan, a man that I know will be by my side until the end of time. Nothing brings me joy the way making him laugh does. He’s been my best audience since I could speak, and nobody is on my team more than he is. Jonno, you’re a genius, and nobody but for Drake, Rihanna, and Steve Jobs had it all figured out by 24. In due time. While you’re figuring it out, let’s keep laughing, singing, and wearing silly hats. Love you, naked juice! 

I am thankful for each and every one of you that reblog my work, retweet my Twitter madness, “like” my facebook posts, share my blog with your friends, and make me feel that I’m not just writing into the ether. As a writer, all you can ask for is a reader. I am forever indebted to each and every one of you. 

Happy Holidays! Mazel Tov! Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad. Give thanks! Be Happy! 

And finally, to all you weary Lakers fans out there…

LET’S ALL GO H.A.M. in 2012!!!



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