Questions? Concerns? Advertisers? Email JewSqueeze{at}gmail.com

Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

Copyright 2009-2011 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze

Presents

To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed a train.

To realise the value of ONE SECOND, ask someone who just avoided an accident.

To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with. And remember time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why its called the present.

(Writer’s Note: I didn’t write this. I found it on Brent Bolthouse’s Twitter. No matter, it’s still fantastic). 



God 
Aaron Sorkin, “just one question: Who’s Eduardo Saverin?” 
#THESOCIALNETWORK is the TALMUD in film form. 

God 

Aaron Sorkin, “just one question: Who’s Eduardo Saverin?” 

#THESOCIALNETWORK is the TALMUD in film form. 



Lest you forget how I look in a yellow speedo. 

Lest you forget how I look in a yellow speedo. 



[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Ella Mae Brown - Holding Out For A Hero - Footloose Soundtrack, 2011

This song does things to me. It’s my legacy. 



@Mc_Soph, you know how some people hold out for years to be with their one true love?This picture proves it, you are the yin to my yang. The peanut butter to my Jelly. The Michelle Williams to my Heath. 
xoxox
Hub

@Mc_Soph, you know how some people hold out for years to be with their one true love?This picture proves it, you are the yin to my yang. The peanut butter to my Jelly. The Michelle Williams to my Heath. 

xoxox

Hub



Look at me now. #AAPL

Look at me now. #AAPL



@pearfect, the ultimate HJ. 

@pearfect, the ultimate HJ. 



ScHoolboy Q (feat. A$AP Rocky)-“Hands On The Wheel”

New video from the homie ScHoolboy off his album HnC now available on iTunes.

(Source: longliveasap, via skeetonmischa)



“Today is the greatest
Today is the greatest day
Today is the greatest day
That I have ever really known”

Everyday is today, guys. Make it count. 

(Source: thedeadline)



Morning Babe

Morning Babe

(Source: emilyafricaa, via lesfemmes)