Gwen Stefani & Tony Kanal.

Whoa boy. I could write an entire dissertation on this photo, the rise of No Doubt via Tragic Kingdom, and how if Tony and Gwen never broke up their band never would have skyrocketed to mega-industry success. Come here, let me coach you.

After releasing No Doubt and The Beacon Street Collection, NO DOUBT was basically in the shitter. Their label, Trauma Records (via Interscope) was a bit hesitant to release Tragic Kingdom due to the lack of album sales from their previous efforts. However, their first single, “Just A Girl” garnered early playability due to a leak in the movie CLUELESS — “did you see the locked out Jeep daddy got me?” and heavy rotation on 106.7 KROQ in Los Angeles. 

Tony and Gwen had been dating for years. YEARS. Around the end of Beacon Street and Tragic Kingdom they split. After writing goofy songs about Paulina, Food, and Snakes in baskets, Gwen ACTUALLY had some real shit to say because her heart had been broken. Tony was her best friend. They spent “every day together, always” for years, and just like that, POOF, over and out. Furthermore, Eric, Gwen’s brother, had let everyone know he’d be leaving the band after the release of Tragic Kingdom so he could follow his true passion, drawing cartoons. 

ANYWAY, picture this: Gwen Stefani, in zipper pants and Princess Leia buns, sitting at her couch in Anaheim, writing about her break-up with Tony. “Excuse Me, Mister”, “Just A Girl”, “Sunday Morning”, “Happy Now”, “Different People,” and finally, the song that would literally SKYROCKET the band to fame, my personal favorite, “Don’t Speak.” It’s all about Tony. 

Soon the band would tour, and Tony and Gwen were in a weird ass place. I believe Tony still had a thing for Gwen during the Tragic Kingdom tour, which is when she met Gavin Rossdale of Bush (because Bush was also signed to Trauma Records). They met backstage and it was love at first sight. So you have Gwen going out on stage every night, playing this truly tragic breakup songs, only for her to exit stage right and flirt with Gavin — IN FRONT OF TONY. Whoa. The guy must have been fucked up. Thank God for those wild black dudes on trumpet — I bet they were able to lift his spirits with a spliff and a couple notes on the alto-sax. 

The year is 1999. I’m standing backstage at KROQ ACOUSTIC CHRISTMAS, and who should appear out of the wings but Tony Kanal, fresh from the stage, sporting a full on Adidas track suit. I ran over to him, asked him to sign my paper plate with a Sharpie. He asked me my name. I told him. Then I looked back at him and said, swear to God, “dude. I wanna say thanks. Gavin is an asshole. Gwen should’ve stuck with you.” He laughed super hard, looking at this fourteen year old kid with way too much information, and said, “Thanks, little dude.”

I guess that’s what you get for fingering the manager of No Doubt’s daughter in Junior High — way too much insider information. Totally milked that relationship for all it was worth — a couple backstage passes to see No Doubt every so often. 

Abbie Cornish

Mary-Louise Parker - Esquire UK by Christa Renee, August 2009

Forget Banksy. Shepard is a total Fairey. Mr. Brainwash is a total fucking jamoca milkshake. 

But the Jews — man, I wouldn’t fuck with that gang. The Macabees? PSSSSH. They’ve never lost a fight and their leader, Judah, is one tough mother. 

Jew.Tang.Can. Recognize. Realize. Circumcise. 

The Situation (VINTAGE FAMILY PHOTO)

Team JewSqueeze:

I know, I have a been a shitty father this week. I haven’t written much. I’ve been super busy having my ass handed to me every 30 minutes. That’s OK! I’m learning! Here’s some cool ass shit to tell you about:

1. The Dead Weather played last night, but I was too tired to go with Mah Friendz, so I watched CHEATERS instead. Say what you want about Jack White, but it’s all about CHEATERS in this Haus. 

2. Comic Con is tomorrow and it was nearly the death of me. I barely slept Tuesday night. I could only fell asleep because my dawg, Jakeson, played on my laptop while I tried to let the day go and pass out. 

3. I got a ticket to go to New York City for Labor Day. Yes, you are right. I’m going to have INCEPTION with girls there, therefore forcing multiple babes into Labor. 

4. Got that new Big Boi joint, and boy, is it fresh TO DEATH. If you haven’t peeped it, I suggest you peep the track “Shutterbugs.”

5. I STILL HAVEN’T FUCKING SEEN INCEPTION. 

Ashley Smith by Terry Richardson