Questions? Concerns? Advertisers? Email JewSqueeze{at}gmail.com

Ask me shit! About the author(s): MjH grew up in the suburbs of Encino, CA, born into a family of hilarious Jews. His mother, a witty New Yorker with a sharp tongue, set the bar pretty high in terms of what he looks for in a wife/Jewess.

Forever wearing glasses and on the hunt for Jewish cunt, our man wants you to know that he once schtupped a dame at DIVE! in Century City.

Copyright 2009-2011 BlackBerry Jew Squeeze

untitled H.S. (dedicated to Zach)

Holes in my Levi’s

from chasin’ you chasin’ you

the girl that doesn’t exist 

saying things I shouldn’t say

playing songs I shouldn’t play

Doesn’t matter anyway

The truth is the truth

and the edge over other boys

You’ll see

through me

the world in my eyes.

They come off a conveyor belt, most of us. 

Not this laugh. 

Just go. 

Move away. 

I never loved you anyway. 

Holes in my chucks

from chasin’ you chasin’ you

saying things I shouldn’t say

playing songs I shouldn’t play

Doesn’t matter anyway.

Stay. 

Go.

Come back. 

Get out.

What I’d do -

Your move, player two. 



Lindsey Wixson photographed by Terry Richardson for Harper’s Bazaar, March 2012
I am so in love with this woman, it’s disgusting. Like I would eat glass for her. 

Lindsey Wixson photographed by Terry Richardson for Harper’s Bazaar, March 2012

I am so in love with this woman, it’s disgusting. Like I would eat glass for her. 

(via bohemea)



HAIM! They’re the best and they are in the new online edition of Interview. 
Read it! 
@babyhaim let’s make @babyjewsqueezes. 

HAIM! They’re the best and they are in the new online edition of Interview. 

Read it! 

@babyhaim let’s make @babyjewsqueezes. 



[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

nedhepburn:

KAVINSKY
Road Game

brand new song and it fucking slays



@KTDANZA @pearfect kissing the perfect kiss. Going into “tuck mode.” Fellas, am I right?!

@KTDANZA @pearfect kissing the perfect kiss. Going into “tuck mode.” Fellas, am I right?!



This is from Ned Hepburn’s blog. It’s too too fuego. 

This is from Ned Hepburn’s blog. It’s too too fuego. 



HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH YESSSSSSSSS take that, everyone who owns a PC. 

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH YESSSSSSSSS take that, everyone who owns a PC. 



Kanye X Jay-Z - N**** In Paris (official video)



Lana Del Rey @ Amoeba music last night.
@Scitron, I went to buy you something for your birthday, and they wouldn’t let me in because LDR was playing live.
Anyway, this pic is super cute, and it sort of reinvigorates my love affair with her. She sucked on SNL. Guess what? I only got 1220 on my SAT’s and yet somehow I still managed to succeed in life. We all have our ups and downs. 

Lana Del Rey @ Amoeba music last night.

@Scitron, I went to buy you something for your birthday, and they wouldn’t let me in because LDR was playing live.

Anyway, this pic is super cute, and it sort of reinvigorates my love affair with her. She sucked on SNL. Guess what? I only got 1220 on my SAT’s and yet somehow I still managed to succeed in life. We all have our ups and downs. 



Natalia Vodianova by Michael Sanders for The Face October 2002

Natalia Vodianova by Michael Sanders for The Face October 2002

(via francesberesfordgrant)